My Dark Vanessa
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
Guest Reviewed by Salima
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One of the perks of having a friend as one of the lovely ladies that run #thecandidbookclub is being able to say ‘I need some books, lend me some please’ and that’s how I got my hands on My Dark Vanessa late last year.
It’s a dark, deeply disturbing and unsettling novel spanning a period of around 20 years where we see this ‘relationship’ between Vanessa and her English Teacher.
The book goes back and forth in time and from early on we see Vanessa's relationship with her teacher is the most significant one of her life by the time she’s 30 years old.
You see how this lonely, bright and self-conscious schoolgirl is groomed by a predator fully aware of how vulnerable she is. But how he himself becomes anxious, worried and stressed as a previous student exposes him for abusing other girls in his career as a teacher - so he needs to know Vanessa won’t do the same.
Vanessa feels no one understands her, that society has a tendency to categorise and normalise so many aspects of life including relationships but things aren’t as simple as they may seem.
But as Vanessa looks back on her adolescence and early adulthood, examining what happened, questioning how accurate her memories are and whether she really felt the emotions she _thought_ she did, you can’t help but feel sad but also a sense of hope as her eyes are opened to what really happened to her - that as much as she wanted to believe what she had was love, it was something a lot more sinister, power-driven and disturbing. But that now maybe, she can finally move on.
There is no doubt this is a challenging read but the fluidity in the writing makes it easier. It is certainly thought-provoking in its portrayal of an undeniably important issue affecting our society today.