When I Hit You
When I Hit You by Meena Kandasamy
Reviewed by Linda
📙📙📙📙📙
I’ve decided to rehash this 2018 review of this incredible book in light of recent events which have continued to highlight the barbaric nature of this world and that even at the turn of a new decade in the 21st century, women are not exempt from oppression. In an effort to continue to silence brilliant women, Meena Kandasamy finds herself, yet again scrutinised and trolled for speaking out about her personal experiences. Most horrific of all the accusations comes from Men’s Rights Activists of the Indian subcontinent who have claimed that “...as a feminist she could not have been in an abusive marriage, and if she was in such a marriage, she could not be a feminist.”
To those unfamiliar, When I Hit You is based on Meena’s own experience of marriage. The unnamed protagonist’s traumatic experience of being abused in every form possible, is captured with unflinching honesty and grit. Kandasamy doesn’t sugarcoat any of the details, especially when describing the consequential suppression and loss of identity of the new bride. Every sentence is powerfully raw and quote-worthy that it is hard to understand how it is simultaneously so PERFECTLY written. And that’s the point - here, writing and reading fiction is the escape.
Minutes will pass until you realise that you’ve held your breath and need to consciously pause to exhale.
This is not a fairytale, nor is there a happy ending but a book with a take home message for everyone and NOT just for women: but for men to acknowledge the barbarities that women face everyday around the world; for parents to support their daughters and raise their boys to have compassion; and for everyone else on this planet to know how harsh the world can be.
