How We Met
How We Met: A Memoir of Love and Other Misadventures by Huma Qureshi
Reviewed by Jess
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Breaking away from norms that only exist through historical precedent is something most 1st/2nd generation immigrant kids know all too well. Carving out our own paths to success and happiness that look nothing like our parents’, or their parents’ ways is difficult, enlightening and often heartbreaking. Huma Qureshi has managed to articulate these feelings so well in this memoir.
Huma tells a story I’m sure many of us know, either ourselves or through our friends, of finding the right “suitor” to spend the rest of her life with, with the help of her family and some shaadi.com adjacent websites. It’s an endearing coming-of-age story I guess, and it’s also a story of how she found love in an unexpected way, but to me it stood out as a story of family and faith.
Her bond with her parents runs deeper than anything - they are her biggest supporters and defenders, and after the unspeakable loss of her father Huma is adrift. She slowly pieces herself back together though, and reading her story of gaining strength through her independence and happiness within herself and her life choices was affirming and endearing.
Richard comes along at the right time for her, and that’s when faith comes into play. But there’s no pushy family tactics, there’s no force or wayward attitudes that most uneducated people will assume here. It’s all about how Huma navigates acceptance - of how her family will accept her white boyfriend, of Richard accepting a new way of life to be with the girl he loves, and of Huma accepting that she deserves this love and reconciling her faith and beliefs with her happiness with Richard.
I loved so much that there were so many stereotypes smashed throughout this book. Huma’s family life with Richard, and even before that is unapologetically a modern Muslim family that we should see and read more of. Her happy ending is pointed to from the opening lines of the book, so the reader knows where they’re heading all the time. But it’s not about the ending here, How We Met is about Huma’s journey, and it’s well worth the read.
